I used to hand my money anxiety to someone else and call it delegation. It cost me a fortune before I learned what I actually needed: someone to sit with me until the fear passed, not to take the problem away. That's what this Lighthouse Lab was — a room of people making friends with money, one honest question at a time.
When money arrived from my mother's estate, I couldn't touch it for months - I had no idea what it meant, or what to do with it. This is a piece about inheritance, about fear dressed up as responsibility, and about the skill neither my mother nor I was ever taught. It closes with an invitation to a Lighthouse Lab on financial confidence, Tuesday 8th September.
This Tuesday's Lighthouse Labs, our guest Jole Berlage-Buccellati opened with a provocation: most of what blocks us around money doesn't live in the mind. It lives in the body. In patterns carried from ancestors who survived things we have no memory of. This is what came up for me - and what I'm still sitting with.
"We have money like garbage" - my mother's phrase for the surprising truth that we always found money for the things that truly mattered. I grew up in that contradiction, and I've been living it ever since. This post is the most honest thing I've written about money, where the beliefs come from, why they're so hard to shift, and what I'm beginning to understand about changing them. The next Lighthouse Talk goes deeper. Tuesday 9th June, online, €10.
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