I used to hand my money anxiety to someone else and call it delegation. It cost me a fortune before I learned what I actually needed: someone to sit with me until the fear passed, not to take the problem away. That's what this Lighthouse Lab was — a room of people making friends with money, one honest question at a time.
When money arrived from my mother's estate, I couldn't touch it for months - I had no idea what it meant, or what to do with it. This is a piece about inheritance, about fear dressed up as responsibility, and about the skill neither my mother nor I was ever taught. It closes with an invitation to a Lighthouse Lab on financial confidence, Tuesday 8th September.
I went to an art school. The visual arts department was my world — drawing, journalling, making things that could speak without me having to. Over the years, something else emerged. A part of me that loves to facilitate, that comes alive in front of a room. Making videos is where these two run into each other.
I've been wanting to make videos for a while. But every time I get close, a younger version of me puts her foot down. Too scary. Too exposed. This week, with a little help from George Hanover and the women of Her Circle, I finally pressed record. This post is about what happened next - and about a Lighthouse Lab coming up for anyone else who's been wanting to show up more but can't quite get there.
"We have money like garbage" - my mother's phrase for the surprising truth that we always found money for the things that truly mattered. I grew up in that contradiction, and I've been living it ever since. This post is the most honest thing I've written about money, where the beliefs come from, why they're so hard to shift, and what I'm beginning to understand about changing them. The next Lighthouse Talk goes deeper. Tuesday 9th June, online, €10.
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